Business School, Lesson 3

(lesson 1 here, lesson 2 here)

Ok, so now we have a product. We’ve come up with some very nice bumper stickers with chocolate jokes on them and I’m feeling really good about this. Heck I might even make this my full-time business! “Whaaaatttt?!” say some of my thousands of  window cleaning clients who read this blog. I’m kidding people, I’m not going anywhere!!!

The next piece of the puzzle is figuring out who we are selling to, which is called Demographics. It’s a big word and if you have a hard time remembering it think of your favorite horror movie (your favorite “GRAPHIC” “DEMOn” movie) and you’re good to go. Demographics is the science of being able to look at a person’s face, skin color, and clothing—from a picture or on the street—and knowing what consumer goods and pets and electronics that person prefers.  For example, if you are trying to sell a laser hair growth brush, who should you market it to the most.

This guy?

Mann Village Theatre

Or this guy?

hairy_hairy_man1

You say that was easy? Well it was supposed to be. Now let’s take this thing to the next level and give you some real “mental floss.” Look at the pictures below and tell me what you should try to market to these people. Try to guess the right answers, then check your guesses with the correct answers below the pics:

1.

steve_buscemi

2.

Obama

3.

061221_rosie091707

4.

elisabeth-hasselbeck

5.

FunnyDog

6.

BUSH CHINA CURRENCY

7.

Bill_Clinton_Biography_2

Answer sheet: 1: Pet snakes 2: A unicorn of hope and wonderment 3: Crossbow and ice pick 4: A chill pill 5: Dog surgery 6: Phineas and Ferb Laughapalooza Joke Book 7: A wife and legal system who can love and accept him for who he is

Now, some of those correct answers aren’t products you can really sell, but I wanted to give the idea about how to look at someone and know what they need.

Ok team, now that you understand how Demographics works, help me figure out our targeted demographics. Who likes chocolate? Woman gym coaches, German children, and other children who are German (i.e. Dutch, Swiss, Austrian, Norway, etc), white people, pregnant women, depressed people, government employees, and cat owners. Can you think of anyone we are missing? “What about dogs? My dog loves chocolate!” Well, chocolate actually kills dogs and your dog will likely die soon if you keep it up, so no, we can’t target dogs because it would be unethical. Ok, well I think we got just about everyone we need to sell to. Next time, I’ll teach you how to sell your product.


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6 Responses to Business School, Lesson 3

  1. Eliza says:

    That picture of G.W. is priceless! so dang funny, man I miss that guy. lol to your captions, very fitting for all of them.

  2. Ben Pratt says:

    What I need is a laser chocolate growth brush.

  3. Davis says:

    Man. I love that picture of Billy C. Perfectly captures him.

  4. Ryan says:

    Loved that description of kids who aren’t Germans but are German. It’s so true. And you bet they all love chocolate. That fact is only made better by the fact that in their language they all refer to chocolate as “sweeties,” like the brits do.

  5. Braden says:

    I miss Billy C. and George W. Big time.

  6. Andrea W. says:

    Your captions were dang funny. How do you know about Phineas and Ferb?

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