Commercials That Make Me Angry

Too much work this week to collect any proper thoughts. Unless you want thoughts on the Federal Rules of Evidence. (Wait- do you? Maybe I should have just pasted in a brief here . . .)

So we’re going to be quick about this. The following are three among the many (many, many . . .) commercials that bother me. March Madness is a special time, because it usually means you’re going to watch lots and lots of commercials. Obviously, you’re going to hate some. Like these.

This is a great commercial, with a lot of truth, all the way to the 30 second mark. Love it. What is the message going to be? How do these people break the spell? How do they cast off the shackles of consumerism and marketing and assert their independence?

Answer: By accepting a cooler mode of consumerism and marketing. Nice job everyone. (Rips fingernails off with shards of broken ceramic mug).

Here’s another car commercial. It feels good. Pretty. Happy people. Then the line:

“We don’t just make cars. We make joy.” Uuuuuggg. I admit, my objections to this one are somewhat moralistic. But I saw this for the first time while watching a game with my kids. My highest aspiration for my kids is that they will learn how and where to find joy in their lives. Now they know: A German car. Joy for just over 50 grand, fully loaded. Would you think it was weird if I told you I actually exploded at the TV when the guy said that line, and told my kids that he’s a liar? Well, my kids didn’t think it was weird. Not at all.

This one’s not quite as bad, but still cringeworthy:

I need to buy a phone that will help me sedate my kid when my wife leaves the table and he freaks out because he knows I want nothing to do with him and have no idea how to make him happy or interact with him at even a 2 year old level. I have, however, learned the ‘shake your keys at your crying child’ trick, which is decent. Maybe you could make an app that shows you shaking your keys at your kid, so I don’t have to actually shake the keys? Or maybe you could just make an app of a kid, to replace the whiny real life one? That would be really helpful. Thanks.

What are your most provoking marketing messages? (If you post a link, be patient if it doesn’t immediately appear- we sometimes have to rescue those from the moderation queue).

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14 Responses to Commercials That Make Me Angry

  1. Davis says:

    You missed the worst one. I just hate it so much.

  2. Ryan says:

    Seriously, that’s a great pick. I was just thinking the other day about how awful that one is.

  3. Davis says:

    In my mind that commercial ends with me jumping into the middle of the road in front of the car and launching a shoulder-fired missile. Right before the missile hits the car the guys goes, “Moooooommmmm.”

  4. Ryan says:

    IT is true. IT is amazing how differently you see things when you have kids, and commercials which were once no big deal, pretty innocent things have become such a hate for me when my kids are around. They are so manipulative sometimes.

    Although, any audi commerical gets me because , well, they are AWESOME!!

  5. Macy says:

    That was Macy

  6. Alesa says:

    I really hate infomercials now, as opposed to my mild hate of them before, because now my kids are convinced that we really need a sham-wow or clapper or something. Uggg!

  7. Andrea W. says:

    Ryan, you losing it at the tv because the car company claims to manufacture joy is cracking me up. I agree with you 100% but picturing your outrage and your kids wondering what in the world possessed their usually sane father is hilarious. Also, so with you on that Sprint one, soooo obnoxious.

    Alesa, but we all do need sham-wows. Infomercials are just providing a service showing us that we are living so far beneath the quality of life we all deserve.

    Here’s one that I just HATE, everything about it I just hate it.

  8. Ryan says:

    Macy, do you really believe they’re awesome, or is that just “what you’ve been told.”

    Alesa, wow, I hadn’t even been considering informercials. That’s just a whole different category of anger.

    Andrea- great pick. What is it about cars that makes advertisers turn them into everything but what they are? (Did that sentence make any sense?)

  9. Macy says:

    Ange, lol. I so agree. That one is just too much. Too much drama.. so funny. I can so see you hating that too.

  10. Rebecca Bell says:

    i can usually sit through a commercial break and watch with patience, but when an alltel commercial comes on, it’s almost like if ii hear more than 2 seconds of it, i’ll be doomed to utter stupidity. i cannot stand those commercials.

  11. Danica says:

    Enterprise really does have some awful ones, Davis. I’ve posted this before, but I can’t stand this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwj2s5hB3e8. But really, almost all commercials make me angry. My dad is fiercely anti-commercials so I was raised on a tv that was muted during them…still do it today. But, if I do hear one I am almost always left wondering how in the world an advertising team somewhere seriously sat around a table, high-fived each other and said, “We’ve done it again.” Great observations, though Ryan. The AT&T one really does just make you cringe.

  12. Norm says:

    Interesting how your children make you see the world more critically.

    I can offer you some solace however. From personal experience I can tell you that most of that stuff is totally lost on kids. For example, have you ever watched a movie as an adult that you used to watch a lot as a kid? It is surprising what you catch now that as a kid totally went over your head. Princess Leah chained to Jabba the Hut in her underwear is a good example. As a kid I watched that scene dozens of times and was more fixated on Jabba’s cleavage than Leah’s. But you watch that scene as an adult and you’re like, “Wow, Paul Simon got THAT?”

    Of course maybe the Leah thing is a little different. Maybe kids can be swayed by wrong ideas about finding true joy. I once had a friend who’s dad had to sell his BMW because his young son was just too in love with it.

    (Ok. It was Davis.)

  13. Dave Cook says:

    I have to say how much I detest the song remake Used Car Dealer commercials. Guess what, if 8 different dealers use this exact same sales technique, how will I ever tell them apart from each other?

    And to make matters worse, they’ve now infiltrated TV. These two commercials were on yesterday afternoon:


    And really, Sunday afternoon on channel 5 AFTER General Conference is probably not the target market for a remake of Adam Sandler’s “Piece of Sh** Car” with a guy actually eating a piece of poo in the shape of a car.

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