Viva La Freedom! Vivan Los Tigres!

(In case you weren’t looking because it was a Tuesday, Ryan posted yesterday here.)

I have a friend who, upon discovering something great – a movie, a restaurant – simply will not rest until you too have tried that same thing. Continue reading

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Seen Around Town

Some random photos of enjoyable stuff I see around town:

Salt Lakers will recognize this one.  This place used to be an ice cream place.  Now it’s a sandwich place.  But it would be too much of a pain to just take down the huge rotating ice cream cone.  Next best solution?  Just paint it black.  No one will see it then.  “What ice cream cone?  No, really, what are you even talking about?  All I see out there is our Jimmy John’s sign.  What?  No.  That?  No, maybe that’s some sort of black cloud over there.  No.  I do not see an ice cream cone.  Whatever it is, it is devoid of all color, so it’s definitely not ice cream.  Pretty sure it’s nothing.”

You know, these questions about some random floating ice cream cone are starting to get really old.   Maybe you’re the one that’s crazy.

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Fruitflies and Prozac

I remember when I was 12 or so a teenaged Ryan complaining to my Dad at the dinner table that it depressed him when Dad wore only plain white under-shirts with no shirt on top of it, one of which he was wearing at the time. He added that seeing fruit flies in the house depressed him as well (BigRy, am I remembering this right?). My parents laughed at this, but I sat there on the yellow linoleum floor quietly contemplating it; pondering how seemingly random things have the power to spontaneously transport us to a bad place. You can see or smell or feel a thing that injects pure despair straight into your bone marrow.

We all have pet peeves, but I’m talking about something different. Pet peeves are things that annoy or anger you. I’m talking about things that depress you. Things that douse your spirit and make you feel like there’s something to be sad about. Often this process is subconscious. You’re not aware of what’s going on but you realize you are feeling badly and you think “Wait a minute, that’s why I feel this way; the light in here is dim” or “I’m in a run down strip mall with very ugly, cheap signage”  or  “Oh, right it’s because that woman has straight, long hair going down past her bum” Or “The women with the long hair is also wearing a fanny pack.” Continue reading

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It’s The Little Things

I’m currently in Seoul, South Korea, on the tail end of a three-week trip. Melissa and I spent two wonderful weeks in Thailand and Cambodia on a long-planned frequent flier mile cash-in bonanza, followed by a trip to South Korea for work. It’s all been fantastic, but I’m just about ready for it to be over. The only thing keeping me from wanting to go home more than I already do is the fact that I have nearly 24 hours of travel ahead of me. Actually, that’s not true – there are a few things that I’m going to have a hard time saying goodbye to.

First up, this:

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Just look at that, will you? What? Did you call it a toilet? How dare you? I don’t know what to call it yet, but it’s not a toilet. How do I know? Because toilets don’t have heated seats. They don’t have bidets (with adjustable water temperature and pressure). They don’t have warm air dryers (with adjustable air temperatures and speed). Toilets don’t have control panels. Toilets don’t make you happy.

Next:

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Big deal, we have GPS monitors in the US. Yes, we do. But that’s not a GPS monitor (or it is, but it’s not just that). It’s a TV. For watching TV. In the car. Seoul has terrible traffic, and somewhere along the way someone decided, “You know what would make driving in traffic much more enjoyable? TV!” I’m assuming now that the TV/traffic thing is a vicious cycle, wherein people get in accidents because they’re watching TV, which makes traffic worse, which makes watching TV while driving even more important. Question: What is the highest number of human lives would you be willing to sacrifice every year so you could watch TV in your car? Everyone is different, but if the number you thought of is below 5,000 you’re lying.

When I lived in New York I often thought of how absolutely hosed I would be if a fire or other disaster were to strike while I was in a skyscraper. Sure, you go through the motions of a civilized fire drill twice a year, and you all nod as the receptionist they’ve saddled with fire marshal duties drones on about making sure you make way for the elderly and disabled. But we all know the minute smoke starts pouring in all bets are off. Thunderdome at the office. You’ve got two minutes to get down 33 flights of stairs, and if Jerry from Accounts Receivable is slowing things down on account of his gout you’re going to do what you have to do. And that’s if you can even get to the stairwell.

One day a co-worker and I wondered aloud why they didn’t just provide some rope for everyone who sat by the window of our building. It was one of those ideas that at first seems ridiculous but on closer examination makes a great deal of sense – “Yeah, actually, why don’t they provide ropes for everyone?” Usually the answer to such questions boils down to the fact that we’re just too lazy or someone doesn’t want to spend the money. Well, the Koreans are neither lazy nor cheap.

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Can you believe that? That kit contains a hammer for breaking glass, a belt, and a long spool of rope. (I assume the hammer is also there in case your rope is defective and you have to clear out some people in the stairwell?)

Oh, and one more I can’t really take a picture of: the elevators here? They let you un-press a button to rescind your command to go to a certain floor. You accidentally hit “7” when you wanted to hit “8?” No problem. Hit it again, and take it back and go straight to “8.” Tell me that wouldn’t make a difference in your life.

Really the only thing I don’t like about South Korea is this:

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Yep, parking stalls that only women can use. Which isn’t actually that big of a deal, since finding a parking space isn’t really that annoying when you can watch TV while doing it.

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The Ghost of Christmas Awful

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Guest Post: Mo Daters, Mo Problems

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Stand by

I’m stepping onto a flight, but when I land I’ll put up today’s guest post.

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